Chapter Eight (Page Seven)

“Is this what you really believe in or is this what you want to believe in? Be honest with yourself, Jeff.” Tristan said

“It is not what I believe in, it is the truth.” Jeff said

“Where are proves then?” Tristan asked

“My experience with her.” Jeff said

“These evidences suggest otherwise.” Tristan said

Jeff is starting to lose patient “Look, I told you she is a weak, delicate and fragile flower. There are justifiable excuses for her action. You want prove? I gave you prove. What else do you want from me?” Jeff said

“I want you to look at all the evidence, not just look for examples that can be used to justify you believe that Rita is a weak, delicate and fragile flower. I want you to make your determination base on all of your evidences, both evidences that support what you believe in and contradict it. I do not want you to ignoring contradicting evidence, like for example the material inside this envelope. I want you to determine whether Rita is a weak, delicate and fragile flower, based on all of the evidences not just examples you can use to support that believe. I want you to look at evidences that contradict it, also.” Tristan said

“If I look at contradicting evidence, then it would undermine the truth and the truth is that she is a weak, delicate and fragile flower.” Jeff said

“No, you say it is the truth, because you believe it is, doesn’t necessary mean that is the case. Believing that she is weak, delicate and fragile flower is what you want to believe in, not what is happening for real. Ever since you were a boy you want to be the hero, you want to be the masculine one, but the reality is that you are always a victim. You believe you should be the knight in shinny armor in a fairytale and the other women should be the fairytale princess that is a weak, innocent and helpless, but in reality, you are always the weak, innocent and helpless victim that needs the protection of others, they are the ones who play the role of knight in shinny armor, where you play the weak, helpless and innocent victim and some of those who protect you are woman, who you believe should be the victim. Even back in school, when you get bullied in the third grade and fourth grade, Sally Thomas stuck up for you, against the bully. Then after high school, you own the loan sharks so much money, because you believe that they are decent guys. It was Sabrina that solved the problem for you. Now, it is still your sons, who are sustaining your business, of your trucking company. You find yourself playing the role that need to be protected, playing the victim, when you really want to play the hero, your entire life. This is not a situation where you are the hero and Rita are the victim, it is what you want to believe in, because you always want to be the hero, where in reality you are always the victim. Now, for the first time in your life, you thought you have finally become the hero capable of protecting a weak, helpless and innocent female victim. As a result, when reality that suggest otherwise hit, you cannot handle it. You just choose to ignore it contradiction evidence. You start looking for excuse, to justify this contradiction information, to be something that is in coalition with what you want to believe and what you want to believe in is that you are the hero and she is the victim, but you have no prove saying that these contradicting evidence are really a reflection of a situation that is in coalition with it. It is just what you want to believe in, with no regards to whether that is the case or not. Because you want to be, you desire, you obsess to be in a relationship, where you are the knight in shining armor capable of protecting your woman, who is a weak, helpless and innocent victim that requires your protection, nothing more. Your daughter say she would leave that gangster guy, if you leave Rita, are you considering it? No, you are not, because if you leave Rita, you would be leaving a relationship, that you believe to be of what you desire and you are definitely not willing to accept a truth, that this relationship is otherwise to what you believe for it to be, especially, if it is one where you are once again a victim.” Tristan said

“I AM THE MAN. I AM SUPPOSE TO BE HERO THAT IS MY ROLE AND I AM NOT GOING TO LET YOU, THE TRUTH OR ANYONE OR ANYTHING SHOW ME OTHERIWSE, WHETHER THE TRUTH IS WHAT I BELIEVE IN OR NOT!!!” Jeff yelled angrily.

Tristan didn’t say anything. He took his tape recorder out of his pocket, press the button of stop recording.

“You have been recording our entire conversation? What is this?” Jeff frowned and said

Tristan didn’t respond, he rewinds the recorder and played the last part, where Jeff yelled angrily.

Jeff stood there in shock, after he finished listening to it. It is only now he knew how ridicules he has been.

“You are fifty-six years old. Time to grow up, baby brother.” Tristan said

Jeff wiped “I am the victim again, am I?” Jeff said

“I can’t give you an answer. You have to figure that out for yourself.” Tristan said

“So, Rita is not a weak, helpless and innocent victim, I think she is?” Jeff sobbed

“Maybe she is, maybe she isn’t. I don’t know her. I only know you are obsessed with the idea that she is a weak, helpless and innocent victim and you refuse to believe otherwise, even if the truth that is completely 110% otherwise, has been served up to you on a silver platter. That is all I know. You are fifty-six years old, baby brother. It is time to grow up. You can’t go around acting like the little boy, crying for what he wants in the super market anymore.” Tristan said

“I just want to believe I am in the sort of relationship I desire, is that really too much to ask?” Jeff said

“But, if you just choose to believe you are in the sort of relationship you desire, despite the fact you are not, you are just lying to yourself, to believe in something that isn’t there. Is that what you really want?” Tristan said
“You think about it. We are not children anymore, baby brother. Sometime, we can’t always have what we want, just like I can’t use my son’s collage fund, to pay an entire girl volleyball team to have sex with me, despite the fact I am divorced. I want to, but I can’t. It is alright to have desires. But sometimes, we need to prioritize other stuff, before our desires. I know it suck, but we are not in heaven yet, once we are in heaven, by all mean, put your desire before everything else, but up until then, we can’t always put our own desire ahead of everything else and sometime, we just have to let it go.” Tristan said

“That is sad.” Jeff said

“I know, baby brother, it is.” Tristan said and then he left.

Who is best to play Tang Wong in a TV series adaptation

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